There were so many other people who would have done anything to be with herher mother and husband, her daughter and son and grandchildren, her sisters and all of her friends. If I knew nothing about Sooki before she arrived, I knew very little more three weeks later when we were spending all of our days together. is the author, most recently, of The Dutch House. The car I was locked into was now hurtling down through a million winking flagella, every one a different color. (It was not reassuring to know that one of the nurses at UCLA thought that Sloan Kettering was the name of the doctor Id be seeing.) Sooki Raphael . Now for no particular reason I changed my mind. The phone hadnt been run over, nothing in the wallet was missing. What Sooki thought she should have done with her life was paint. Read More. And so I just relied on a book to get me through. PATCHETT: Every single thing was from scratch. What could have been a disastrous time becomes, for both of them, a cherished opportunity. Tom Hanks was so completely absent from our conversations that I once asked her if he knew where she was. The greenroom crowd was then escorted to their seats, and we were ushered to the dark place behind the curtainTom Hanks, his assistant, and I. "How other people live is pretty much all I think about. She was the New York City Bat Lady at 21. The Amazing Rita Wilsons New Film About Choosing Life; How She Beat Cancer & Became A Songwriter, Hot, Sweaty And Itchy Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man When To Seek Help, 54-Year-Olds Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apples Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself. What if you come to Nashville to take part in a clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer only to be killed by a tornado? Their close friendship began through email, and would eventually lead to Patchett offering her home to Raphael in early 2020 so she could receive cancer treatment in Nashville. She told me that she had to put Sooki on a leash when she was little because she ran so much. At what point does our understanding of the action shift? I crawled around her as carefully as I could and collapsed in the hallway. Id be grateful if youd pray for her, I said, because while I was uncertain about prayer in general, I believed unequivocally in the power of Sister Nenas prayers. It's clear this was hard to write about when you turned to actually try to capture Sooki in an essay. It came out of nowhere, like one of those weird storms that had plagued us in the spring. We left early, taking into account the traffic that turned out to be eerily absent. But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life and moving on from there can be such a powerful way to move forward. Still, Im able, for a while at least, to pick up the thread and walk it back. Never want to see this again? KELLY: Speaking of friendships that we make in college, early in life when we - it feels like we have all this time to just live in the present, tell me about another essay - "The First Thanksgiving." "They have it," she said. Accuracy and availability may vary. I came back from Virginia and took Sooki to see the daffodils at the botanical garden, but we were too early. An epilogue describes how before Sookis death they manage a day on the beach and a celebratory exhibition of her paintings. I was happy, even thrilled, to stop traveling. You all did a book event. It may resonate. No events scheduled for January 19, 2023. Lets try the car.. This chemo wasnt the nightmare FOLFIRINOX had been. We would meet on the level playing field of affectionate strangers. I met Sooki Raphael for a few minutes in Washington, D.C., around three years ago, and maybe even more than that now. A car was coming to pick them up. Its undeniable that money and privilege are a great help. No, its wonderful having her here.. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. Need to create a login? Many were introduced to Sooki Raphael through Ann Patchett's book, "These Precious Days" There Sooki's grace, creativity and strength were immortalized though Ann's words. Three blue tattoos on the same plane as my prominent abdominal scar, it would hardly matter. Looks like were sitting on the edge of the apocalypse, Marti said, leaving her french fries on her plate. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. Here she was the person she had meant to be. "Primarily and in her soul she was an artist." In some ways its not unlike putting together my own life. Had I thought it through, I never would have had the nerve to ask in the first place. I feel like I could pop into Trader Joes and have them replaced with those happy little stickers they hand out to well-behaved childrenit undermines my confidence in the sophisticated nature of the whole process just a bit. Sooki thought about it, or she thought about having to tell me. The thought of Tom Hanks benefiting from my assistance struck me as funny, and then I forgot about it. Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. A forest sprung up in the middle of the street. She certainly isnt short of abundant care for others, and by the time you get to the end of this collection its hard not to feel glad she saved her energy for writing. I went to Virginia to see my friend Rene Fleming in concert. There was never so much color, spinning, building, reconfiguring, splitting apart. How did she have twenty-eight vials of blood in her? There are suddenly people everywhere. I have limited time as I work til mid May, then leave the US in June until I come back to start another movie in September. Of course I opted for tattoos. We love you, Sooki. All three of us had lost our fathers, all three of us were close with our mothers. Forgot your password? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I was going to tell Karl what was happening but he was looking at his own phone. You have to remember.. On this summer night in 2017, I picked up a collection called Uncommon Type, by Tom Hanks. I rose as I pressed against the floor. Death was there during those long, sunny days. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. She gave me the number and I called it from the house phone, hoping wed hear it ring. I understand the impulse but I also think weve transcended it. Ill send photos from San Diego. You explain it in the opening chapter. Absolutely. Im self-conscious about being in the way, especially if Im not at my best through chemo. (Her 2004 book, Truth and Beauty, describes a seventeen-year friendship with the brilliant but demanding writer, Lucy Grealy, also a cancer victim.). So the trial was supposed to start at UCLA a couple of weeks later. Or its supposed to slow it down. She hadnt lost her hair on FOLFIRINOX, though shed lost her sense of taste and smell, the feeling in her feet and hands, and twenty pounds. My friend Sister Nena had just called. People are not characters, no matter how often we tell them they are; conversations are not dialogue; and the actions of our days dont add up to a plot. I dont take notes. I was starting to understand that what she needed might have been color rather than conversation, breath rather than words. The bottom floor of the house is an apartment, separate entrance, no kitchen. He holds a kind of medical currency, saved then spent, and when needed, he can marshal all necessary parties into immediate action, bringing them together so fast that whatever needs to happen can happen yesterday. I cleaned out the freezer and the refrigerator and at every moment thought, We are so lucky. By the time I was done signing books that night, the event I had scheduled in New York the next day had been canceled. Are you okay? I asked. $23.99. She moved to Nashville, Tennessee when she was six, where she continues to live. Sooki was married? She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. I wrote and she painted and then we made dinner. The rain went on for another half an hour, and when it gave up I put Sparky on his leash and the three of us went outside to wander and gape with our neighbors. I wanted to know what her worst fear about staying here was, and after a pause she told me she was a vegetarian. Karl had gone back to work by this point, but he canceled his afternoon appointments to drive us to the hangar where my friends kept their plane. Our newsletter vital information, hope, and healing, delivered weekly. She learned to solo an airplane before she learned to drive. After a series of emails, Sooki comes to live with Ann and her husband . I felt like someone was slamming me against a wall, not in anger but as a job. A year and a half had passed since I had picked up his book in my office, and this was where it had taken me: Tom Hanks was willing to read The Dutch House. You cant go home, and we dont want you to go home.. Cuozzo was first diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma in 1994 at the age of 28. The meeting led to Patchett asking Hanks on a "lark of the highest order" if he would narrate the audio version of her novel The Dutch House the ensuing . With many creative endeavors - from clothing to ceramics to a long career in the film industry Raphael has contributed to numerous projects, busily attending to the arts through a multiplicity of avenues. Most of the writers and artists I know were made for sheltering in place. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. I knew that she worried about her ninety-four-year-old mother in Rye Brook, New York, and read to her grandchildren in San Diego over Zoom. PATCHETT: It was so incredible and joyful to be together and to make that kind of a friendship that you make in college, you know, with your roommate, with this total stranger who you are assigned to live with who then becomes your best friend. I was interested in her children. Sookis two sisters, one in Connecticut and one in Massachusetts, could meet them there, a family reunion at the airport. Ours was an ephemeral connection common to the modern world, writes Patchett. It was such a short trip it hardly counted as being gone. He wanted to know whether I liked owning a bookstore. Most recently, she had a solo exhibition of paintings at ROSEGALLERY called These Precious Days, just like Patchetts piece. The bookstore was closed to the public, but we were still shipping orders. Did you have a hard time?. I met the hosts of the event and a few people who worked for them. As lockdown continues, the two women practice kundalini yoga and meditation twice a day. Books are fun! Her paintings are full of light and life, as Sooki was., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael did very well. Am I the person youre talking to, or are you talking to someone else downstairs late at night? I cant just stay here forever.. We were in the middle of a pandemic. When I look back on those first few months of the pandemic, all I will remember is recurrent pancreatic cancer. Join The Spectator community and view or post a comment on this article. But she could. Subscribe to the World edition here. I was impressed that first day when the therapists swarmed the table forming the mold around me and explaining about tattoos. https://thespectator.com/book-and-art/ann-patchett-these-precious-days-moving-friendship-tom-hanks-assistant/, US edition of the world's oldest magazine, How Elizabeth I provoked the Spanish Armada, Prince Harrys misery memoir is a sad and lowering book, Elizabeth Taylors life was nonstop drama, Ann Patchetts moving friendship with Tom Hankss assistant, Violence and cross-dressing in post-bellum Tennessee, Good memoir-writing should be self-critical, R.B. I couldnt. I told her I would pick her up at the airport. Karl has never once complained. They sailed to St.Barts in a beautiful old wooden boat named Christmas. Sooki was coming as a patient, and more than a little of the work was going to fall to him. Its not too much. When Patchett connected with Tom Hanks, who is a fellow author and book lover (among other things! Thought-provoking commentary and opinion on politics, books and the arts. The caps had to be switched out every twenty-five minutes during treatment to ensure that her head stayed more or less frozen. Dear gave way to Dearest. Its essential to the life of a novelto come upon the turn you never saw coming. A few weeks later Hanks' publicist asks if she will fly to Washington, D.C., to interview him as part of his book tour. We would have dinner whenever she was ready. While I was in Virginia, a series of tornadoes hit Nashville. Sookie paints and paints and paints. You could sit with us and read if you wanted, answer emails. Sooki, who was light and life and color itself. When I asked her how she was feeling, she might admit to being a little tired or having a bit of a stomachache, nothing more than that. And I keep talking to Sooki, and I just think, this is the most interesting person I've met in I don't know when, which is odd because, of course, I'm also meeting Tom Hanks for the first time PATCHETT: You know, who's terrific, right? They would stop each way to refuel in West Virginia. Yoga was Sookis necessary social hour, and what I got in return was time with Sooki. And the moral of the story is that really is what I have been doing my whole life ever since. There is another guest suite on the main floor and we live on the top floor. It had zero spiritual component. Writers still came and spent the night; bookstore events were still packed. We hadnt paid the check. She was teaching at Bennington, in Vermont, and this was the first day of classes. Her kids were in school by then. I was an introvert again. She had once shown me a picture of herself standing in the surf wearing a bikini, a sarong tied around her narrow hips. Assistant Sully (2016) Assistant Bridge of Spies (2015) . Like, I really understand that I'm going to die, but I don't want the whole novel to be wiped out. Recurrent pancreatic cancer kept me focused on the present moment. The road forks and forks again. . She loved Dr.Bendell. I can never quite hear what the person making the introduction is saying, and for a moment I wouldnt be able to tell you the name of the theater or even the city I was in. The trees were down but not the houses, and the trees, from what I could see, hadnt fallen on the houses. Register, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons Assistant Died of Pancreatic Cancer. Call me crazy, but that seems like a lot. We were well into March by then. The months shed lost not being in chemo while they struggled to locate the new tumor had put her perilously behind. I know how to structure my time. She couldnt be alone. Sooki went with him every day. And I found maybe five other kids who had done the same thing and decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner. Never. lives. We talked about art. I wouldnt. Do you ever miss being alone in your house? she asked me once. By showing her what her life might have looked like and then sending her home. By seeing what I wanted to see instead of what was actually in front of me. In the story, Patchett writes, "Pay attention, I told myself. She had moved in before the pandemic. Going forward, the lights may as well be off. Heres to more time to explore color and enjoy all the peoplelike youwho make life colorful. On the few mornings she didnt come up at her usual time, I imagined her sick, needing something, not telling me because she didnt want to bother me. She left her canvases as colorful as she led her life. You decide. We laughed at the simple optimism but we also caught ourselves listening. I didnt know how old she was, I couldnt remember her face, but there have been few moments in my life when I have felt so certain: I was supposed to help. It has to do with fearing death. Travel while staying at home! I can motivate myself without a deadline or a contract. Sooki told me they were skinks. As the warning sirens kicked in at four in the morning, only Sooki was awake. It had been happening for a while. I can tell you where it all started because I remember the moment exactly. She needed me to take her to the hospital for an X-ray. It may also depend on how you feel about cancer narratives as well as the life-enhancing or -destroying power of what are now politely referred to as psychedelic plants, but which used to be called drugs., Ultimately, though, the story shares its DNA with other essays in the book that focus on Patchetts life as a writer specifically, where and how she gets her material. She was an artist. We looked in the car. Its an honor, really. I am now sitting at the airport waiting to catch a plane to my next opinion, at Sloan Kettering in NY. When the event was over and more pictures had been taken and everyone had said how much theyd enjoyed absolutely everything, Tom Hanks and his assistant and I found ourselves alone again, standing at the end of a long cement hallway by a stage door, saying good night and goodbye. She was indefatigably pleasant and warm while maintaining her distance. In Memoriam. We did a different hour-long class every morning, identifying our favorites, ordering more DVDs. "The press release is about to go out." I sat there and watched her read, waiting for something more, something that explained it. Everything filled in. It was our place, what Sister Nena called vacation. She ordered the house merlot and I had a seltzer with cranberry juice. I tried to enjoy it but it was difficult to breathe. This whole time Ive gotten it wrong. She had transferred her life into brushwork, impossible colors overlapping, the composition precariously and perfectly balanced. Locked out of your account? Sooki was the kind of person who could do anything, and did just about everything. ), she developed a deep and lasting friendship with his assistant, Sooki. While we pored over every detail of dinner (Sooki revealed herself to be a great cook), we didnt talk about her family. When I was very nearly at the end, I came to a beautiful lake, the kind youd see on a Japanese postcard, or my imagined picture of a Japanese postcard. We went home and baked a spectacular cake that was especially well suited to travel. We talked about what we were going to make for dinner. Which she did. And you will always be in our hearts., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael has done very well. Karl is the king of the hospital. You must have Mary Poppinss suitcase.. PATCHETT: It really is. On the first Sunday in May, in the late afternoon, a storm kicked up, not expected but not a surprise either. Its funny, but all this time I was sure it was exactly that. Catalpa flowers littered the sidewalk, though I hadnt realized the catalpa trees were in bloom. Giant hackberries had fallen into maples and split them in half. In the press release for the exhibition, ROSEGALLERY said her works used her colorful palette as an expression of a renewal of spirit and life as she healed alongside the scorched landscape of the Malibu and Topanga hills.. I thought he should be angry at me. They reviewed her records together. She has to have children., It could happen. We had never spoken on the phone. I was struck by an overwhelming sense of wanting to know her, of not wanting to miss Sooki while she was here. We hugged, and I hefted her enormous suitcase into the hatchback. I was sorry for what Id done to him, by which I meant poisoning myself. They have it, she said. Go together. And this led to you meeting Sooki. Rita Wilson recently posted a tribute to her friend, Sooki Raphael, who painted throughout her treatment for pancreatic cancer. I asked her whether she had ever been to Nashville before, and she said yes, once, with Tom a long time ago. Come on, Sooki, he said, his voice gone grand. In other essays, Patchett extols the enduring influence of John Updike, Saul Bellow and Philip Roth on her own writing; meditates on her friendship with Charlie Strobel, a priest in Nashville whom she calls a living saint; and tries to capture the flavor of her odd-couple relationship with her second husband, Karl, immortalized in the title essay of an earlier collection, This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. As a medical doctor on staff at the Nashville hospital where Raphael was treated for advanced pancreatic cancer, he plays a crucial role in These Precious Days., Finally, theres that essay. Cause and effect are so much clearer in novels than they are in life. Sooki exuded such an air of self-sufficiency that I scarcely thought to worry about her. . It was late and Id just finished the novel Id been reading. He watched as she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy while still working and taking care of her family. At any point in life. It was my intention to vomit, but the idea of getting past Sooki was overwhelming. They were on their porches, laughing. She sent updateschapter eight now, chapter twelve. A tremendous explosion rocked the house, something far beyond thunder. I wasnt looking for permission, but it was a matter of mutual respect. And youre going to freeze your head for eight hours every week? Wed been together for a matter of minutes. 30, 2019: My kindness comes from sincerely wanting this recording to happen. Patchetts good intentions to help a stranger she took a liking to cant be separated from her self-promoting instincts to make a story worth writing about. No doubt if Tom Hanks and Ann Patchett believe their friend to possess such wonderful qualities, she probably is a saint. Just a guess. There were mornings we would go to the store at first light, when no one was around, and tape up boxes and stick on labels together. This article was originally published inThe SpectatorsUK magazine. She wanted to know about the book I was going to write next, the book I had just barely started thinking of. In return, she sent me pictures shed taken of Los Angeles, a woman in an orange sari sailing past a city bus on a bicycle. I hadnt meant this to be my career. She thought it would be fun for a while. God damn it, get inside, I said to my husband. It was a shaggy dog of a story by a woman passionate about dogs, touching on a variety of subjects, including her friendship with Tom Hanks assistant Sooki Raphael; Raphaels treatment for cancer; the early days of the coronavirus pandemic; the art and craft of writing; and I kid you not psychedelic mushrooms. We did up dog and down dog in endless repetition. He wanted to know why I hadnt told him this. We started looking up articles on the Johns Hopkins website. We have some picnic tables outside the police station, the officer said. Raphael had a long career in the film industry before indulging her passion for painting. Out on the tarmac, I could see her again exactly as she was, resplendent in her velvet coat, her black beret. It was just me in the house. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog. I will keep you more closely posted as I move ahead (in the right color shoes). This unfolds in your college dorm freshman year. With every passing day I seemed less able to say, Do you want to talk about this? There are no words here, I thought. Where was Sooki? Not a guru. Sooki was desperate to be helpful. Ann Patchett and Tom Hanks' assistant? Then as the world was ensnared by a global pandemic, the two friends formed a pandemic pod. In a piece for Harpers Magazine called These Precious Days, Patchett told the story of their friendship and spoke of her admiration for the paintings Raphael created at her home. Find contact's direct phone number, email address, work history, and more. I need to find a Belvedere martini.. Id come up with the answer months ago. Then Sooki and I went to the kitchen, mixed our pre-measured packets of mushroom powder in with yogurt, and poisoned ourselves. I feel great. You should have planned for the financial fallout of having pancreatic cancer twice?. In making the journey to Oz, she had found the strength and clarity she needed to go home again. I can fly you up, Karl offered, once her mother was safely home. And I had never done anything like that before. Im still hereat Playtone and in general. Lets go back to the hotel. There is a magnificent quiet that comes from giving up the regular order of your life. It was just that we had piled up so much junk to keep from hearing it. Miraculously, after a spate of vigorous exercise there would be enough white cells to slip her in just under the wire. I was grateful. People are not composed entirely of their facts, after all. Raphael found great beauty during a tumultuous time of her life and shared that beauty with others through her artwork. It would be a nightmare.. New This Week; Available Now; Plant Types Sooki Raphael: These Precious Days RoseGallery Santa Monica | California | USA Apr 10,2021 - May 10,2021. He responded: mar. More news about planes: friends of mine in Nashville who knew what was going on with Sooki, and who have a house in California and a jet that takes them there, the nicest possible friends, offered her a ride home. Probably it was some combination of the two. Who is she? When youre young youre getting high, and when youre old youre using plant medicine, like herbal insect repellent. How Much Is A Raphael Painting Worth? She could work for Mother Teresa.